Yes. I was born-in and my parents taught me that this was "the truth". I know I 100% believed when I was 10. I know that I 100% did NOT believe by the time I was 15. I'm not sure exactly what happened in those 5 years. A lot of things. But mainly I just got older and wiser and smarter. I became more aware of other religions and other people and I saw more and more crueilty and abuse and control tactics within the JWs. The other kids were all hypocrites. There was no love or concern for other people within the congregation. There was more and more talk of Armageddon happpening in September of 1975. People were going nuts. It was stifling and suffocationg and killing my soul.
Scarred for life
JoinedPosts by Scarred for life
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Were You a 100% True Blue JW Believer?
by minimus indid you at any time-- totally-- accept everything being taught to you by the witnesses?
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Do you feel embarrassed, humiliated, anger that you were a Jw?
by LouBelle ini ask because some posters say they felt totally humiliated, or wonder how they could have been sucked in, or some are extremely bitter and angry about their past.
over the nearly 4 years i've come to totally accept that i was a jw, but have made my peace, and honestly can say i've forgiven, if you will, that part of my life.
totally moved on and do not have negative feelings about it.
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Scarred for life
I didn't realize how bitter and angry I was until I came to this site, frankly. When I see that a lot of the issues I have aren't just "mental health" issues that I have but are a result of being raised a Dub, it makes me very angry because this stupid cult have very seriously, very negatively affected every aspect of my health, physical and mental and emotional.
I always wonder if I'll ever be a "whole" person after my upbringing.
St Ann:
I'm the same as you. And that's OK. Most people here understand, especially those of us that were born-in.
Yes, I think many if not all of the problems that my sister and I have suffered from are directly related to the trauma of beiing raised in an abusive cult. It has affected every aspect of our lives also and has continued to do so. But I think coming here and talking about it to people that understand is helpful.
Everybody has issues and struggles. The goal is to face those issues and continue to grow as a perso n. We are healing and improving as we sit here. We are getti ng better and understanding ourselves better.
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...Do you Appreciate Life more?...
by OUTLAW in..i`ve watched jehovah`s witness`s live and die for decades..they really seem to have a lack of appreciation,for the limited time they have on this earth.....and..why should`nt they?..jehovah`s witness`s are going to live forever!.....there`s no rush to do anything.except to get to the next meeting,assembly or get out in the field service.....celebrations of almost any kind are avoided..excelling at anything is discouraged..a death in the congregation is no big deal.that person will be resurrected.....jehovah`s witness`s don`t have a hunger for life,because they`re stuck with it!..there`s no way out,unless you stop being a jw..if you stop being a jw,you loose your family and friends!..so basically,jehovah`s witness`s are stuck with living forever!..lol!
!.............now that you realize,that your life has an expiration date..do you appreciate life more?................................outlaw
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Scarred for life
It`s like they are on Cruise Control,waiting for Life to Happen..Little realizing they are wasting precious moment`s,of the short time they have here........................
...OUTLAWOutlaw:
That's so true. And you know my mother was always that way even long after she stopped going to meetings. But I think in some ways the JW religion suited her. She was always waiting for life to happen. And then she died.
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Do you feel embarrassed, humiliated, anger that you were a Jw?
by LouBelle ini ask because some posters say they felt totally humiliated, or wonder how they could have been sucked in, or some are extremely bitter and angry about their past.
over the nearly 4 years i've come to totally accept that i was a jw, but have made my peace, and honestly can say i've forgiven, if you will, that part of my life.
totally moved on and do not have negative feelings about it.
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Scarred for life
I was raised in so didn't have choices and as a result of their rules, I was cheated out of relationships that I would have had, adventures and challenges I could have tackled, education that I wanted...and cheated out of seeing the world as a good and beautiful place full of good and beautiful people instead of evil and sordid. I was cheated out of living for today, enjoying life and setting goals, stretching and reaching for something tangible instead of believing that tomorrow didn't matter because it wouldn't exist. Cheated out of being able to grow and learn, read books, listen to music and watch a movie - cheated out of being myself.
Sammielee24:
Wow, you summed it up very well. That's exactly the way I feel and I'm angry at my parents for cheating me and lying to me. But they were cheated and lied to also.
But now I watch whatever movie I want. I listen to whatever music I want. I read whatever book I want. I have grown and learned.
I now live for today. I enjoy life and have set goals. I plan for tomorrow.
I think the seeing the world as a good and beautiful place is the part I still struggle with the most. It's hard when you are taught from birth the the world and people are evil and sordid. I know that's not true but it's hard to escape those feelings from childhood.
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Raising children as JW's
by lancelink intonight my wife and i attended a christmas play held at a local church.
it was really cute, 4-8 year olds recreating the whole christ story, when suddenly this totally empty feeling hit me like a punch to the face.
i realized how much we missed out with our own two kids by raising them as jws.
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Scarred for life
I think I was seduced by the fantasy and living forever on a paradise earth. The love bombing was seductive also.
Child:
That makes some sense. Especially for my mother. She lived in a fantasy world her whole life. My father would have been attracted to the love bombing. He ate that up.
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Raising children as JW's
by lancelink intonight my wife and i attended a christmas play held at a local church.
it was really cute, 4-8 year olds recreating the whole christ story, when suddenly this totally empty feeling hit me like a punch to the face.
i realized how much we missed out with our own two kids by raising them as jws.
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Scarred for life
it made sense to them and they were concerned for their children's future. I know my heart was not in it for some time and we thought we were doing the kids a favor
No more Kool Aid:
Thanks for your reply but, no, that doesn't make me feel any better. How can this religion make sense to anyone? My father was a very intelligent, well-educated textile engineer. This religion could NOT have made sense to him.
If they were concerned for their children's future they could have raised us in a normal loving church. They did me and my sister no favors. And my parent's heart seemed to be very much into it for much of those 25 years. My father was an eldrer and gave Sunday talks and even gave talks at other congregations. I think it was the power and prestige that was bestowed upon them that roped them in. Milton and Mille. They were a very attractive young couple. The powers that be in the JWs loved them.
What a hoax! What a fraud! At the expense of me and my sister.
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...Do you Appreciate Life more?...
by OUTLAW in..i`ve watched jehovah`s witness`s live and die for decades..they really seem to have a lack of appreciation,for the limited time they have on this earth.....and..why should`nt they?..jehovah`s witness`s are going to live forever!.....there`s no rush to do anything.except to get to the next meeting,assembly or get out in the field service.....celebrations of almost any kind are avoided..excelling at anything is discouraged..a death in the congregation is no big deal.that person will be resurrected.....jehovah`s witness`s don`t have a hunger for life,because they`re stuck with it!..there`s no way out,unless you stop being a jw..if you stop being a jw,you loose your family and friends!..so basically,jehovah`s witness`s are stuck with living forever!..lol!
!.............now that you realize,that your life has an expiration date..do you appreciate life more?................................outlaw
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Scarred for life
If I had stayed in JW I would have been dead a LONG time ago. I would either have committed suicide or I would have died of an alcohol related illness. There was no hope.
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Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and those who leave cults
by Lady Lee inquite a few people on jwd have said they suffer from complex post traumatic stress disorder ( c-ptsd).
i'm not sure how well this issue has been discussed.
c-ptsd is slightly different than ptsd.
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Scarred for life
Great thread. Thanks Lady Lee. I can relate to so much of this. I can see it in my sister also. And my mother was a longtime victim of physical (and probably sexual) child abuse. This could explain her attraction to this religion. It probably did "help" her for a number of years.
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1975 Pep rallies or Pep Talks?
by Tired of the Hypocrisy inthere is a young elder from southern california that is working from the inside to help doubters to leave.
he goes by olin moyle jw elder on yahoo.
answers.
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Scarred for life
Well, this is not news to me. I was there. I can't give you a detailed, word-for-word recap but I was there and it was traumatizing and all I knew was that I had to escape from the torture.
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Are you still considered an outcast because of your JW past?
by Quirky1 ineven though i no longer proclaim being a jw it seems to have tarnished my relationship with others, including family and even co-workers.
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i feel as tho i am still treated differently than others..
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Scarred for life
No one in my life now knows that I was raised as a JW except for my husband and he has no understanding of it. He does accept the fact that I consider it to be a tremendous negative in my past. I never tell anyone of my religious upbrining.
Do I still "feel" like an outcast? Yes, it's hard to shed those feelings from childhood. I always feel like an outsider. Not only was the religion a reason to be shunned by your peers, we were highly encouraged at the KH to not be "a part of the world", to not make non-JW friends, to not participate in any extra-curricular activities. We were the only people in my neighborhood or school that didn't celebrate holidays.
I was an outsider and an outcast during my whole childhood and adolescence. And then when I bolted, I was an outsider with the branch of the family that were JWS. So, of course, I always consider myself an outcast.
But I think it's time for me to change that. Thanks for listening.
...OUTLAW